It has been said that learning to love yourself is the vital first step to finding romantic love. As Valentine’s Day approaches, Church Housing Trust unearths some top tips to develop your self-esteem, directly from formerly homeless people who have found the self-assurance to turn their lives around.
Self-esteem is a thorny issue for those who have been homeless. Many residents of Riverside schemes have described the isolation, and experiences of abuse and cruelty, that irretrievably erode self-confidence while on the streets. It can result in deep depression, and even self-sabotage when opportunities to change present themselves.
One group of residents, from Bracken Court in Leeds, was able to learn from the experts and concentrate on building self-esteem at a special two-day series of outdoor activities around the Chevin ridge in West Yorkshire. Here are the lessons they learned:
Ask questions and meet new people
Before the course began, the participants attended a meeting about gaining trust. A slideshow of photographs let them see what was in store during the outings. The emphasis, however, was on informal greetings and discussions, allaying any fears and answering questions. Three members of staff from training organisation Esteem Development led the meeting over coffee and biscuits. Soon, all of the group were keen to hear more about what they would be doing.
- The message: it’s worthwhile talking to others if you feel unsure about a situation. You can also see it as an opportunity to build relationships, and overcome fears about talking to new people.
Be prepared
Throughout the trip, it was important that everyone was properly kitted out. On the first day of activities, this involved walking boots, cagoules, fleeces, gloves and hats. On day two, they added full waterproofs and wellies!
Take the lead
The group began their activities at Otley Chevin, where an orienteering challenge took place. Residents were divided into two groups and took the lead at map reading to find designated points around the Chevin.
- The message: trying something new can be daunting, but be prepared and make sure you can always ask for someone else’s help.
Challenge yourself
The two groups then met up for a picnic lunch before heading to another part of the Chevin to try abseiling, which some managed and some did not, although everyone participated and challenged their own levels of comfort.
- The message: you don’t have to be an adrenaline junkie or push yourself to the limit: knowing your own boundaries and knowing that you tried something new is enough. You may even discover a new favourite hobby; at the very least you can say you tried it.
Work with others
The most difficult part of the weekend was a hike to Ilkley Moor, followed by a gorge scramble. This involved the whole team working closely together to safely navigate the fast-flowing waters. Each person was responsible for carrying their own equipment and a share of the picnic. Teamwork was essential to the safety and success of the mission. At the top of the gorge, participants climbed a waterfall, with support and encouragement from the other team members.
Never give up
After hiking back to the picnic area, the group had lunch and another opportunity to abseil. Those who didn’t manage it on day one were able to. At the end of the day, clients were presented with certificates of achievement in Stage One Abseiling and Gorge Scrambling. This instilled a great sense of achievement and success, and the group acknowledged that the support they received from others was a factor in challenging their fears and undertaking the challenge.
- The message: you can always come back and try again. People will be happy to support you.
Thanks to our donors, the group gained in confidence, challenged their fears, participated in healthy and safe activities, learned the value of teamwork, learned new skills and enjoyed themselves! On that note, Church Housing Trust would like to wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day!
